- Women need to examine how those two systems govern their lives, identifying how they overlap, so that they will gain a better understanding of how their performance is determined by the unique dynamics of the family business. For example, with a little soul searching, a daughter working in her father’s business might discover that she has an aversion to expressing reservations she may have about some of the decisions that he is making because she doesn’t want to create family conflict.
- Keeping family and business systems as separate as possible is a good objective to have, but there will always be some overlap. Successful family businesses try to keep that overlap to a minimum.
- Women need to be able to function as practical psychologists to unravel some of the dynamics that can stand in the way of success in the family business. Dr. Peterson presents the example of a daughter who is reluctant to advise the president of a family business against making a very risky investment because the president is her mother. The president could be working on the daughter’s sense of loyalty: “I know I can count on you because you’ve always been there for me — not like your brother.” Or the daughter could have some unconscious issues of her own: “I’m Mom’s favorite,” or “Dad’s leaving the business to me, his loyal daughter.” Women need to be aware of the psychological dimensions of conflicts such as these.
In the example above, Dr. Peterson suggests pointing out to the mother that there is a problem with the two systems overlapping and that daughter and mother need to reach an agreement about keeping the family and business systems as separate as possible.
“If you are the only enlightened one, then speak to both systems and set the family system aside,” says Peterson. “’Mom, as your daughter, I love you and do my best to support you. And that’s all family stuff. What you’re asking for now is feedback about a business decision. Can we put the family stuff aside and talk like feeling-less business people?’”
For information about the NAHB Women's Council, e-mail Amy Larrabee or call her at 800-368-5242 x8455.
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