Wanna Know What's Rude?

There are two things that happen all the time in business that really chap my hide, which is saying something because my hide is approximately as thick as a 30-year comp shingle.

Rude Infraction Number One: Not returning phone calls or e-mails

Why has it become okay to simply not return an e-mail? For example, there is a certain magazine editor who cordially invites; no, actually encourages, reader input via e-mail. He lists his e-mail address for all the world to see, and presumably, to use. I happen to be in the same business as him and have, on at least a dozen occasions, sent this man a meaningful e-mail. How many times do you think he’s responded? Even with a canned form letter acknowledging that he received my e-mail? Zip, zilch, nada. It makes me wonder, is this guy too important for the likes of me?

Lest anyone accuse me of hypocrisy, my column, the one you’re reading now, has a greater circulation than this magazine. You would know, if you’ve ever sent me an e-mail, that I respond, personally. You see, I understand that you went out of your way to think about me, to think about a topic that concerns you, to compose your writing, to haggle with my ungainly e-mail address and to click “Send”.

Whether I agree with your point or not, I always appreciate the effort. And so I respond. Sometimes my response is short and sweet, sometimes long and wordy. It depends on how much time I’ve got and how interested I am. But, I respond — always (except to spam, of course).

Someday I may get so many e-mails that I can’t humanly respond to them all. I’ve been giving that day some thought and have come up with the following protocol. I’d like to go down in history as the person who invented the polite, non-personal response that, even though non-personal, is a response nonetheless. Here it is:

GYEM
Thanks,
Tim Garrison — The Builder’s Engineer

It stands for “Got Your E-Mail” and is pronounced “gem” (the “y” is silent). Notice that the word “Thanks” is also included, as is the recipient’s name. So whenever someone gems you, you’ll know at least that they looked at your e-mail and had the decency to reply.

Rude Infraction Number Two: Making me wait

I had a meeting with a bureaucrat recently. She is a higher-up and so, in her mind at least, is Very Important Indeed. I was on time and checked in with the receptionist, who told me that Mrs. V.I.I. was in but that I would have to sit and wait.

As you read that last sentence, did it irritate you slightly? It irritated me to write it. Five minutes ticked by, then 10. I don’t mind waiting a few minutes, especially if there’s good reading material at hand. But in this office, Ladies Home Journal and Redbook were all that was available. Fifteen minutes — nothing. The receptionist busied herself, keeping her head down so as not to meet my fuming eyes.

Finally, Mrs. V.I.I. blundered in with an insincere apology for making me wait, obviously not giving a tinker’s damn about my time. “Not a problem,” I lied, eager to finish my business with this Very Rude Person Indeed, and skedaddle.

I am ashamed to admit that some years ago I was guilty of the same behavior. But a Russian fellow by the name of Mikhail Brusquenov cured me. At the time, I was the principal engineer of a 20-person firm and, in my mind at least, Very Important Indeed. My employees doted on my every word, eager to jump at my slightest command. I had a 9:00 meeting scheduled with Mikhail but was in staff meetings all morning, which were not going well. My secretary announced Mikhail’s arrival at 8:55. He can wait, I thought, He’s just a wannabe foundation contractor. Surely, with all my employees and appointments, I am far more important than the likes of him! So at 9:15, I barged into the foyer and greeted Mr. Brusquenov, apologizing insincerely for my tardiness and jumping right into the business at hand.

But Mikhail didn’t jump. He didn’t tell me a lie either. He stood, arms folded across his chest and said, “Mister Gaddeson. You make me wait. Me on time. You feefteen minutes late. I see you a busy man. Me busy too. My time just as impoetan as your’s. You not do this to me, never again.”

That short, blunt lecture was one I’ll never forget. And guess what? It cured me. Since that day, I’ve never made another person, regardless of how Very Important they are or are not, wait for me if at all humanly possible. Every person, in their own mind at least, is The Most Important Person of Them All. It is the least we can do to respect their valuable time.

I don’t think I ever thanked Mr. Brusquenov for his candid scolding, but I should have.

Tim Garrison of ConstructionCalc.com, is a professional engineer, author, and software producer for the building industry. Check out his new book, "Cracks, Sags, and Dimwits –Lessons To Build On," available at www.lulu.com, Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Send e-mail to buildersengineer@constructioncalc.com. Tim reads every one.

This column cannot be reprinted without permission from the author.

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